In Oil We Trust

vacation.

2006-11-19T09:40:00.000-08:00

OilTrust HQ has a total of four Nintendo Wiis. I'm not kidding.

I don't know how much we'll be updating. The internet isn't motion controlled, so it's gotta take a back seat for a while.

unprecedented!

2006-11-16T11:23:00.000-08:00

In a shocking deal, the NHL and YouTube have announced an agreement that will allow highlights from the league to be broadcast on the Internet video sharing service.

The Oilogosphere was in utter shock by this announcement, but many believed this "Interwebtron video doohickey" is really going to pick up.

"Video?! On my blog?!" an exhuberant Andy Grabia of The Battle of Alberta exclaimed. "This changes EVERYTHING. I can finally post NHL video clips to accompany posts. Like that time that guy bodychecked that other guy? You know? On the Canucks I think? And I did a post about it? Now I can maybe put a video up with it! This is all so new and shocking! MY MIND HAS BEEN BLOOWWWNNN!!!!"

Alana from the site Hot Oil felt that the deal had different ramifications for her and her colleagues' blog.

"You know, this is really good. I'm not going to lie: we're not really big into hockey content," admitted Alana. "I've maybe watched two, three full games tops. We pretty much just like objectifying men here. And now I don't even need to type. I can just find an interview with Dwayne Roloson, slap it up, and I'm done!"

But not all members of the hockey blogosphere took the announcement as positively.

Liberal elitist James Mirtle was visible angered by the announcement.

"Video. Pfffff. 'VI-DEE-OH,'" said Mirtle incredulously while making air quotes. "Let me tell you something. I didn't get a journalism degree from Ryerson to post video to my website. It's all about the words, man. Kids these days with their video games and their interwebtron video doohickey, they've got it so easy. Most of these punks don't even know how to use an n dash or m dash properly. It's bullshit, man. Bullshit."

Continued Mirtle, "I don't even watch the games anymore. I just read the play-by-play, official super-stats, and burn the shift chart from NHL.com into my mind after every game. That's the only true way to get the game. Video. Pffff."

At the time of publishing, OilTrust was unable to locate the use of video on any hockey blog. Ever.

mike who?

2006-11-14T12:27:00.000-08:00

Only 18 games into the season and the Oilers have already amassed a small collection of enemies in the league.

Aside from having to deal with the internal strife like who's day it is to beat MAB with three rolls of hockey tape braided into a whip, dealing with the complex relationship between Steve "Unky Steve" Staios and Ladislav Smid, Ethan "Hot-Off Champeen" Moreau living it up on the IR, and Mac T giving quotes after losses that sound like he's about to become a rageahol and beat up Bill Moores, the Oilers have fallen victim to what we at Oil trust can only refer to as the Axis of Dickfaces.

Embedded video documentation proof follows.

Hahaha! Lauren made him watch Simon Birch! What a loser! This is conclusive that you're whipped, brah! That midget kid thought he was an instrument of God! LOL! Also, he used to serve waffles. I loved waffles. Now I'll never eat them again.
PS- Julia Roberts looks like an unattractive man.
Axis of Dickfaces rating: 8 dicks on the face out of 10, including one where your nose should be that is impossible not to stare at and makes you really self-conscious.

God. This is still so fucking upsetting. The ony consolation for Oilers fans is that he'll never ref one of our games again. Go do games in the Eastern Conference, where it's not so much hockey as it is poorly performed figure skating.
Axis of Dickfaces rating: 6 dicks on the face out of 10. In the grand scheme of things, this will probably be totally inconsequential unless the Oilers miss the playoffs this year by one point. If that happens, McGeough will be re-rated as an unprecedented 10 out of 10, which is really disgusting to think about having that many dicks on your face.

Oh la-dee-da! The new dickface in town, eh? Aside from having a name more suited to an actor on Dawson's Creek, what happened during last nights game paints this John-Michael Liles character the shade of dickface. I doesn't matter what happens to Smytty in the long run, come 30 November there will be hell to pay.
Axis of Dickfaces rating: no dicks out of ten, because cowards don't have wangs. And that's just as bad as having too many like some Chernobyl freak.

tru fax

2006-11-11T18:14:00.000-08:00

The Oilers dispatched the Comubus Blue Jackets with relative ease last night and broke their four-game losing streak. Four games feels like an eternity after the teams success during the playoffs last year. I would like to point out that Winnie had a terrific game -- his assist on Smytty's second goal made him look a veteran, patient player. Opposed to this, MAB played his best game of the year by eating popcorn and drinking soda in the press box. Hopefully this game was a good confidence booster for the boys and we can keep the momentum going tomorrow in St. Louis during a noon-o'clock tilt.

The Toronto "no-one-likes-us-because-we're-dicks" Leafs are playing the Montreal Canadiens right now. Again. For the seventeenth time so far this season. Can someone please tell me why Toronto seems to be the only team in the league that wears white at home? Are they just elitist pricks?

The Calgary Flames beat the Anaheim Ducks last night, ending their regulation undefeated streak. I'm glad this happened, even if it was the Flames. Someone needed to wipe the shit eating grin off of those golden-skinned, liberal, ivory-tower, SOBs. I'm also happy to see that Flames fans were booing Chris "ohmiegawd!ohmiegawd!wherearemyballs?" Pronger. We might hate the Flames and the Flames might hate the Oilers, but there is an undeniable mutual respect for one another and I'm glad to see that the Flames fans recognized C-Prongs' betrayal and that it should be punished, no matter who he was playing for. I look forward to the 21st and the next meeting between us. I'll probably shake a Flames fan's hand and thank him. Once he turns around, content that he thinks he did the right thing, I will swiftly sink a sharpened toothbrush between his third and fourth ribs. It's nothing personal.

Lastly, we might have a good time here at OilTrust -- joking around, whipping batteries at MAB, teaching Traktor how to say dirty words in English, so on and so forth -- but sometimes we need to wax-poetic about serious things. Today, 11 November, Rememberance Day; a day to reflect on how lucky we are to be able to enjoy so many of the things that we take for granted and the individuals that made, and those that continue to make, this possible. No matter what your stance on war or politics is, it doesn't change the fact that our veterans and those currently serving in the CAF deserve our utmost respect. So when you're watching all the games this weekend, and when you are anytime for that matter, keep in mind why you're able to have a few beers with your friends and enjoy the game you love.

i don't have a lot to say

2006-11-09T15:43:00.000-08:00

but this pretty much says it all:

tired

2006-11-06T09:14:00.000-08:00

Back in Edmonton after driving all day Sunday.
Conference in Winnipeg was quite good. And by quite good, I mean that my newspaper colleagues and I drank a lot.

Fact: did you know that that Jets don't exist anymore? We tried to go to a Jets game and when we asked some locals, they just looked really pissed off at us. Who knew? Also, apparently they don't have large quantities of birth-right oil and pay PST. PST. The locals didn't like this being pointed out, either. So we just went to a Guess Who concert. They play twice a day, everyday, in Winnipeg.

Sadly, or maybe not sadly, I missed the game on Friday night. Apparently we lost because Mick Mageough [SIC? Don't care, really] called a gloved pass when it wasn't a gloved pass or something. I really don't know. They don't have legitimate media outlets in Winnipeg that cover sports. Can anyone link me to some of the YouTubes of this event? Can anyone even explain to me in depth what happened? I really want to know what all the fuss is about. It was all they were talking about on the radio this morning during my hour long commute on the ice riddled streets of Edmonton. Still, it's better to be here than in Winnipeg.

Anyways, I'm running on about seven hours of sleep over the last four days, am still hungover, and have a midterm in 45 minutes that I have not studied for. It's good to be back in Oil Country -- both figuratively and literally.

so gehts in der Welt

2006-11-01T15:45:00.000-08:00

We're not dead. We're still here, but we've both been relatively busy. Busy with what, you ask? Certainly not school. Ryan has been going batshit insane trying to liberate France playing Call of Duty: United Offensive. Me? I've been doing things -- really, really important things that I can't even talk about because they're that important. Some tidbits:

- The Cold War isn't over, folks. Igor Ulanov has finally gone home to Mother Rusisa. He's signed with with the Yaroslavl Lokomotiv of the Russian Super League, Alexei Mikhnov's former team, who are currently suing the Oilers. That's great, support the enemy, Igor. Way to be. Asshole.

- I miss Sergei Samsonov. Baby, they're not treating you right in Montreal.

- Did anyone go to Save-on-Foods on Sunday to meet Joffrey Lupul? I didn't. I had planned on it because, you know, he's hot. But I decided that if I wanted to be annoyed by hundreds of sixteen year old girls, I'd go to a Simple Plan concert. Or surf Hot-Oil for five minutes. Roli will be there this upcoming Sunday and I may go to that. Any autograph requests?

- Borat: Cultural Learnings of America for Make Benefit Glorious Nation of Kazakhstan starts on Friday. While unrelated to the Oilers, it's going to be effing hilarious.

- Ryan is out of town until Sunday. He's driving to UNICITY[!] for a conference that is not Oiler or hockey related so I really don't give a shit what it is. Unicity is a lot like Unicron. Except instead of eating planets and stealing the sparks' of Transformers, it is a desolate wasteland categorized only by the term "shit-hole." I guess it's not like Unicron at all.

steve staios: the loneliest man in the world?

2006-10-25T09:38:00.000-07:00

We've covered in the past that Steve Staios has taken a shining to rookie blue liner Ladislav Smid. But Steve's relationship issues with his teammates seem to be a bit more complex.

In an interview with Joffrey "I'm Hot and Have Strong Shoulders" Lupul on the Oilers website, he said that Steve Staios approached him with a proposition when he came to the team this summer.

"The first day I met Steve Staios, he asked me if I wanted to move into his basement. I think he was serious. I’m not sure, but I think he was serious."
-Joffrey Lupul

WTF, Steve? I don't know whether you're being a good leader to the young guys or a creepy old guy. Move into your basement? He's Joffrey Lupul. Your basement?
God.

At the time of publishing, the general consensus around OilTrust HQ is that Steve Staios lives in a mostly-empty, gigantic house with two dozen cats.

99 problems

2006-10-24T19:20:00.000-07:00

After last nights great game against the offensive freight train Phoenix Coyotes, you've got to wonder how the whole second line fit into the ugly jacket.

While the team is still being mum about the story behind the ugly jacket, it's pretty obvious it's being awarded to the best player on the ice during an Oilers win as chosen by the locker room.

However, what hasn't been made public is that there is also an opposing award given out to the worst player on the ice as voted by the team. But our inside man in the locker room has confirmed that the team is, infact, singling out the worst players. The penalty for having this great shame bestowed upon you, you may be wondering.

To wear a Marc-Andre Bergeron jersey well after the game has ended.

When asked about this, head coach Craig MacTavish wasn't nearly as coy as when asked about the ugly jacket.

"No. It's just a regualr MAB jersey. It's just a fashion statement," said MacT.

"It's not like we're singling out the worst player and making them wear a MAB jersey as a badge of shame," continued MacTavish while winking profusely at the media. "And we're totally not insinuating that Bergeron is a bad player by doing this."

MacTavish continued his intense winking for another minute.

"By the way, the winking means I'm being sarcastic," admitted MacT as he strolled off laughing.

It should be noted that Marc-Andre Bergeron has been the only player seen wearing a Marc-Andre Bergeron jersey after a game.

some notes

2006-10-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

Heading down to the Rex for tonights game against the offensive powerhouse Desert Dogs pretty quick. Hopefull tonight is the night our PP can start pulling things together. I sent MacT a fax with my suggestions and he emailed me back thanking me. Things should be looking up.

Wednesday marks the Oilers first face off against ex-patriot Chris "I Can't Keep My Hoe On A Leash" Pronger and I will be flying down to Anaheim to LIVEBLOG the game. Hopefull get some reactions and comments from Oil fans in California and maybe whip some Duracels at him from the ol' MAB battery sack.
So keep hitting up In Oil We Trust on Wednesday at 8pm MST for live coverage of the game.

On the same topic, every once in a while a hero of the Oilers community shows himself. We here at OilTrust like to recognize these brave souls.
It takes a lot of courage to take an already shitty song, sing it infinitely worse than the original, but improve the lyrical content exponentially. I tip my hat to you, KimoTrent.

revenge of the bulleted list

2006-10-19T11:04:00.000-07:00

With such a lull in the Oilers schedule yet again and the influx of papers and exams during this time of year, OilTrust HQ has been pretty quiet lately. Let’s take a look at what’s going on in the Oilers blogosphere.

• Covered in Oil has a long post about something. I’m not too sure what. It was long and I’m not big into words.
• The aforementioned Covered in Oil also points to ex-Oiler “Mike Peca’s” blog. I say “Mike Peca” because I highly doubt it’s him. As a side note, I once had a blog where I pretended to be Sarah Michelle Gellar. It ended in a restraining order and the seizure of all my computers and telephoto lenses. Now I just stick to Buffy fan-fic.
• Battle of Alberta laments about fouls and bemoans the Oilers’ PP. Apparently all they can do is complain and post YouTube videos. You guys are downers, man.
• HLOG is still talking about hockey for some reason. They're ladies. If they're talking about hockey all day, who will rear the young'ins?
• IUFC exec will be on CJSR FM88 tonight at the witching hour talking about hockey, Igor Ulanov's whereabouts [it's the bunker under Moscow], and why Heather Smith won't return my drunken phone calls. On a related note, my colleague and the sports editor at the Gateway, Paul Owen, referred to Heather Smith as "that Igor Ulanov-loving, mouth-breathing old-man fucker". Oh you crazy kids!
• Lastly, MC79 has challenged and ladies of Hot Oil to infiltrate the Oilers' inner circle and find out who is single and who is not. A valient and interesting challenge. I'd like to one-up this contest. If one of you can become inseminated by an Oiler we'll send you an official OilTrust "My Money's on the Oil!" t-shirt! I'll throw in a coffee mug [generic; no catchy slogan] if you destroy a marriage and tear the team apart in the process. God speed!

Unsubstantiated rumour mongering

2006-10-18T07:10:00.000-07:00

Igor Ulanov is in Edmonton. According to some guy, he's been seen hanging out with Ales Hemsky and has taken on a 'mentoring role' within the team. What kind of mentoring? I'm not entirely certain, but I sure hope he's not trying to teach Marc-Andre to play hockey.

the honeymoon is over.

2006-10-17T18:45:00.000-07:00

Matt Greene just took his first penalty.
Let's go burn his house down.

Apologies on behalf of my misinformed colleague, but Matt Greene took his first penalty on Monday. Consequently, his house is already a smoldering pile of rubble.

-Ty

You can tell by the way he uses his walk

2006-10-16T12:01:00.000-07:00

He's a lady's man.

No time to talk.

drop MAB: addendum

2006-10-15T10:55:00.000-07:00

An inside source just dropped us an unpublished leaked article from an ivory-tower liberal media outfit in Canada. Those cowards won't publish the truth, but we here at In Oil We Trust believe in journalistic integrity.
Or we don't. It's one or the other. I'm not too sure.
----------------------------

Marc-Andre Bergeron being shopped around by the Edmonton Oilers
MAB a solid D-man, but are his Edmonton days numbered?

by [name withheld]
15 October 2006

Coming off a hard fought and narrow victory over the Colorado Avalanche, sources around the NHL are reporting that the Edmonton Oilers are shopping around half-troll, half-french defenseman, Marc-Andre Bergeron.

"You know, I always thought someone with troll blood coursing through their veins would be stellar on the blue line," commented Edmonton coach Craig MacTavish. "I wish someone had told me trolls have terrible work ethic if they don't get to eat children. I mean, I'm not feeding the guy kids! The six raw chickens a day will have to do!"

Bergeron, an Oiler for the last three years, has slowly matured over his tenure in the NHL into a sub-par defenseman and a top-shelf troll. Gaining his magic troll power, the ability to shapeshift, shortly after Edmonton's amazing playoff run came to an end, Bergeron has attempted to utilize his new abilities on the ice to garner some attention.

The results have been less than good.

"Did you see him turn into a bag of pucks last night?!" lamented Oiler defenseman Matt Greene. "That was fucking bullshit. The fans are just starting to like me -- I haven't taken any penalties this year -- and I get paired with the morphing Troll and go -2 on the night. I'm on wikipedia right now trying to figure out how to kill a troll. Is it with a stake through the heart?"

"That's a vampire!" interjected Steve Staios from across the locker room.

"Fuck off, Steve," a clearly agitated Greene fired back. "Fuck it. I'm putting a stake through that mother-fuckers heart."

Trollicide not withstanding, the Oilers' locker room was relatively jubilent following the night's victory. Starting the season with a record of 3-1-0, the Oilers have not shown any offensive difficulties that plagued them in prior seasons. However, the holes at defense have led some players to question their role on the team.

"A pylon. I'm serious. Not like the hockey joke 'that guy's a pylon.' He literally turned into a pylon. Right next to me. It was really fucked up and really ironic," a stunned Dwayne Roloson said following the game. "I'm petitioning to let Juice play D."

Upon hearing Roloson's comments, a typically dejected Jussi Markkanen perked up.

"Is he serious? I'll do it. Seriously. I'll play D. Guys, you think I could play D? Jason, could I play D? Dan? Guys?"

After several minutes trying to get an answer, Markkanen was reprimanded by Joe Moss and told to get back to folding towels.

Following the departure of Chris Pronger and the questionable defensive skills of Igor Ulanov and Cory Cross, Edmonton's defensive has become perpetually under scrutiny from both the fans and the media.

When reached for comment in Germany, former Oiler Cory Cross said he wouldn't mind another shot with the team.

"Look, I'm not going to lie to you. The German's don't really like me. I'm shunned in the locker room. I honestly never knew what the swastika meant. If I did, do you think I would have had a giant one tattooed on my back?"

Ulanov, on the other hand, took the situation a bit lighter. From his command bunker 300 metres below Moscow, the Russian superstar laughed off Bergeron's play on the Oilers.

"I would have stepped up last season, but I'm really focused on running for Russian public office. Plus, did you know that you get free soda pop in the press box? I know MAB loves soda pop, so he's probably just hoping to get benched. His favourite is lime Crush."

On the topic of Bergeron's transformation into a troll, Ulanov became stoic and reserved.

"After a Cold War experiment went wrong, hundreds of trolls were released into Krasnokamsk. They committed many atrocities that still pain my memories. My father and I killed many with only shovels, our weathered hands, and motherland strength." Ulanov then went silent and stared blankly into a computer monitor marking nuclear launch sites around the country, a single tear rolling down his cheek.

Bergeron could not be reached for comment, but sources are saying there has been no interest from any teams on acquring him.

drop MAB

2006-10-14T21:26:00.000-07:00

[no post]

im going to shoot you in real life

2006-10-14T10:45:00.000-07:00

EDIT: If you aren't coming to this site via RSS -- which you should be; embrace Web 2.0 -- my colleague, Ty, and I posted almost concurrently. I appologize profusely for bumping his post in which he points out some very serious matters. Please scroll down past this post to read it. Again, a thousand appolgies to Ty. You are an out standing marksman with a crossbow and you dress like a gentleman.

-----------------

OilTrust HQ is abuzz as our away crew preps the private jet, Dynasty One, to fly down to Colorado to cover tonights game.
Sadly, I won't be able to make the trip and am currently stuck at the university reading, but I will probably partake in some pizza, or 'zza as the kids call it, and watch the game via the picture-radio. And by probably, I mean I am. I don't know why I said probably in the first place.

However, I have some sad news. My days are typically made of going to school, doing school work, sleeping, newspapering, learning to accept Matt Greene at weekly therapy sessions, and playing videogames. This last activity is what matters right now.

I'm playing a lot of NHL 07 on my Xboxen 360; plugging through the dynasty mode, slowly shaping my own version of the mighty Oil. Recently, as showcased on The Unofficial Igor Ulanov Fanclub, Igor Ulanov played an outstanding game and was recognized for his efforts by a soul-less machine.
However, I regret to inform you, that after a severe hip injury due to a check from Edmonton's own Derek Morris of the Phoenix Coyotes late last night, digital Igor Ulanov has decided to retire.
Sadly, this is out of my hands. The Xbox giveth and the Xbox taketh. While I'm not too terribly crushed by these events, my deepest condolences go out to The Prez.

On a lighter note, big-ups to Dave in Vancouver for the link. Are you and Brock going to be around at Christmas? I think we should shotgun some Brewhouse. Just a suggestion, but one I think you'de probably be fine with.

Shame on you, Oilers fans

2006-10-14T10:37:00.000-07:00

No wonder the Oilers are taking 10 penalties every game. You're setting a bad example. This post is a bit late, but Ryan had dibs on the post-game post and I didn't want to bump his. It'll have to do.

Flashback to 6:06 of the third period on Thursday night. It was probably around 10:15 pm MT. Think real hard. The Oilers were playing the Sharks. Got it yet? K. Ryan Smyth scored his third goal of the game (and of the period for that matter). And to my absolute disgust, hats were littering the ice. Now, correct me if I'm wrong (which I'm not, so don't bother trying), but the PA clearly states that anyone caught throwing anything on the ice will be escorted from the building. There isn't an asterisk that says "unless a hat trick is scored, then you can throw your stuff on the ice."

It's downright offensive. I didn't see anyone escorted from the building. Hell, even Jussi Markkanen threw a hat on the ice. Man, Jussi is pretty studly. Why are the Oilers so good looking? Jeez. But, uh, I digress. He was on the bench for the rest of the game when he should have clearly been ejected.

Rules are rules. What does it say to the players? You can break the rules if some set of circumstance is met? It's pretty clear why Ales Hemsky leads the team in penalty minutes. Shape up Oilers fans. Otherwise, this undisciplined play is bound to continue.

The next time an Oiler scores a hat trick, make like a New Jersey Devils fan and keep your hat on your head. Just to be clear, my battery throwing policy remains the same. I encourage you to bombard Marc-Andre Bergeron with batteries every time he can't frigging hold the zone on a powerplay. God, he's brutal.

Oh, I hate to say this... it really, really feels wrong. Go Leafs.

Mr 301

2006-10-12T23:40:00.000-07:00

Ty and I just got back from one hell of a third period.
The múllet [it's French, pronounced moo-lay] was glorious tonight.
Awe inspiring, if you will. But more importantly, tonight gave me a grand idea.

In the aftermath that was the debauchery of the Hot-Oil Hot Off [we all know who should have won], we've decided a real contest needs to take place. So without further adieu, I present The First Annual In Oil We Trust

GRIT OFF!

However, we don't believe in Femistapo Democracy that they have over at Hot-Oil. We're just telling you who wins.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the winner of The First Annual In Oil We Trust Grit Off....

Number 94, RYAN SMYTH!

That's right, Smytty, take a victory skate; you deserve it. With the grit you've shown throughout all these years, and to pull it out tonight and step up when the team is facing a big deficit, you deserve this more than anyone. I bet everything you eat is gritty in your mouth. Even pudding. Because you excrete grit. You are grit.

To commemorate this joyous occasion, we'll be sending Mr Ryan "Smytty" "Grit" Smyth a one-of-a-kind certificate of OilTrust authenticity.

Drink it up people, that's the real deal.
Once again, congrats to Ryan Smyth for having grit, if that hadn't been made clear yet.

Also to Fernando Pisani and wife Heidi for producing offspring. You don't get a certificate; a child is enough.

Ryan- "I can score and I have grit! Grit Off fo' life, homey!"
Ethan- "OMG! Girls on the intarwebz think I'm hawt! I'm not nearly as hot as Joffrey!"
Ryan- "No teeth! No grit! LOL!"

you people are idiots.

2006-10-12T15:26:00.000-07:00

Not you people, internet friends; you guys are awesome. You're my base. You're the oil base. The derrick is built on you.
That was deep. Alas, I digress. The people I'm talking about are ingrates.

It should not be this difficult to get rid of an Oilers ticket. I have an extra ticket to tonights game and it has been like pulling teeth trying to get someone to use it.
You people are retarded. So now I have an extra ticket. Seriously, don't look a gift horse in the mouth.
I don't know what that means. But I've heard it before. And horses are generaly pricks. So it makes sense.
So if anyone wants a ticket to tonights game for dirt cheap and can get to the University by like 6 at the latest and you're not a creepy fucking internet guy or fat and smelly because I have to sit next to you and aren't annoying and won't rape/kill me, it's yours. leave a brief comment and we can try to arrange something.

the man, they myth, the Playfair

2006-10-10T10:54:00.000-07:00

After a harrowing weekend dealing with homeless Oilers, we've finally started to get things settled in here at OilTrust HQ. Shawn, Raffi, and Joffrey are hanging out by the pool; Gator and Steve have been pretty much beating the shit out of Matt Greene for the last two hours, something about "playing the puck, not the man;" and Ethan has been staring at himself in a mirror almost non-stop. Thanks a lot.

But onto last night in the NHL. The Internets are reporting, via pun-filled headlines, that the Calgary Flames lost to the San Jose Sharks by a score of four to one. Sure, San Jose is an imposing team this year, but I'm not here to talk about them; our boys will talk with them on Thursday. I want to address the reaction of fans to coach Jim Playfair.

Let's look at some wonderful musings from TSN.ca's YOUR CALL!

Sutter will be back behind the bench before Xmas! I was at the game tonight as well as Saturday vs the Oilers. This team is like Dr. Jeckel and Mr. Hyde. Terrible power play, no heart in this team. Amonte has to go. I'd much sooner see some rookies trying instead of floaters finishing their contracts. Tonight's game was like game 7 vs Anahiem last spring. As a Flames fan, I'm very concerned at the lack of effort. Changes coming!
-kruser69

The one-two punch from kruser69! I bet he 69s with chicks lots. Because it's in his Internet name. So it must be true. Like how Raffi's online handle is 69*HawtRaffs*69. Soooo much pussy.

sutter has to come back, sorry but Jim Playfair not ready at all,, hate to see the flames start off bad but they will pick things up it only has been 3 games, but we will see what will happen
-Flames101

Flames101 needs English 101. Or English 10. Or English that they taught that monkey that knows sign language.

Now how about words from the Calgary Puck forums?

If Playfair keeps coaching like this, he won't last. I expect better, I think he is capable of better, but right now he is crap
-cannon7

How much more better than crap do you want? Like, "They way kipper played last night" crap?

I think Playfair is out of his league here. that and if the flames don't change there system a bit they WON'T make the playoffs I Guaruntee it!
-asian_pursuasion

YOU GUARANTEE IT?!?! I have clearly been "pursuaded!"
And last, kruser69 takes a break from muff-diving to chime in again!

Practice the power play! This was an embarassment! Rember who ran the powerplay last year.. Mr. Playfair. He is not head coach material. Bring back Darryl!!
-kruser69

Look. You're all wrong. Jim Playfair is a hell of a guy who cares about the team. Look at his loving practice with the boys following the game.

The Flames went through a gruelling practice on Tuesday, with forward Alex Tanguay moved to the second line with Matt Lombardi and Chuck Kobasew. The theme of the practice was effort and competition. Coach Jim Playfair made them do laps for at least five minutes and moved into a variety of tough drills where skating the length of the ice was mandatory. Fifty minutes into practice, the Flames worked on the break out at a high tempo. Playfair then stopped the play and chewed his team out for lack of urgency. They also did 2-on-2 and 3-on-1 drills skating the length of the key with no letting up.
-TSN

That's love. That's commitment. That's the Playfair way. Maybe the rest of the team simply needs to step up to Jim's level? Hmm?
So look, I might not be a big Calgary fan, but I'm a Playfair fan. It's right there in his name.
Jim.
Name me one Jim who isn't a good guy. You can't. So Calgary fans, cut your coach some slack and maybe blame the lack of dedication from your team.
I say Kipper starts stretching for a HUNDRED minutes before a game to show his dedication.
He can start now.

Godspeed, little Kipper.

The new CBA is destroying hockey

2006-10-09T10:36:00.000-07:00

Throughout the lockout, the NHLPA was insistent that they would not take a salary cap. As we all know, they eventually did. Some players were upset with the concession, feeling like they got a raw deal. Toronto Sun writer Al Strachan said that the players would suffer. And he was right.

I was listening to some recent media clips on the Edmonton Oilers website yesterday night and, to my absolute horror, I found out that there are homeless guys on the team. I didn't realize that the players had it so bad! Mr. Bettman, I know you read this blog. It's time to repeal the salary cap. We're only just over a year into the new collective bargaining agreement and the Oilers are suffering already. I don't know how many homeless guys we have, but this could just be the tip of the iceberg.

"Who's the unlucky soul that has to cook dinner for all the homeless guys on the team?" asked a reporter on Sunday morning.

"I don't know. We haven't figured it out yet," replied Oilers defenceman Steve Staios. "We'll make sure we get the young guys taken care of, but Laddy's my boy so I gotta look after him on and off the ice, so. I take full responsibility."

Well, Ladislav Smid and Staios are alright. But where does that leave the rest of the team?

I am extending an open invitation to Matt, Alexei, Shawn, Raffi, Joffrey, Jarret, Ethan, Marty, Jason, Jean-Francois (I guess), Jan, Brad, Patrick, Daniel, Jussi, Fernando, Dwayne, Petr, Ales and Ryan. If any of you guys need a warm place to sleep or a hot meal, let me know. My home is your home. Mi casa si casa. Mein Haus ist sein Haus. (An invitation will be extended to Marc-Andre once it is confirmed that he is indeed human and not a troll.)

EDIT: Here is the actual conversation, conveniently in MPEG three format. Be forwarned, it's difficult to hear. I broke down a little. After speaking with Ty on the topic, we've decided to open the doors to the OilTrust HQ to all homeless Oilers: 10,000 square feet of the most luxurious marble floors and elephant ivory fixtures, we don't cheap out with rhino ivory. We've set up some cots and have made the live-in help move out of their quarters and into tents in the parking lot.
They're Guatemalan, it won't phase them at all.
-Ryan

For the record

2006-10-08T17:26:00.000-07:00

I'm not gay. I'm really not. But, as a completely heterosexual male, who is comfortable in his sexuality, I have no problem recognizing handsome guys. I'm a man and I know what men like. And men like Joffrey Lupul.

Which brings me to the first annual Hot Oil Hot-Off and its champion Ethan Moreau. Let me make one thing clear: I have nothing against Chopper. He's an awesome leader, an excellent penalty killer and a clutch goal scorer. But if there's one thing he ain't, it's pretty. Which he shouldn't be. Given his grit and his style of play, it really shouldn't be surprising that he's sporting an ugly, ugly toothless grin. In a "Hot-Off," Joffrey should be taking Moreau to the cleaners.

Seriously. Just take a look at that mug shot right there. You think that is hot?

Maybe Chopper is on to something. Maybe it's the beginning of a new trend. In any case, if anyone needs me, I'll be running face first into sharp corners.

some notes on the start of the season

2006-10-08T11:41:00.000-07:00

Presented as a simple, yet elegent, bulleted list.

• The Mighty Oil look much better than I hoped for.
• Roli looks great; like he’s got something to prove.
• On the topic of goalies, I know it’s been said a thousand times over, but any Flames fan that doesn’t acknowledge that they are NOTHING without Kiprusoff has a tumour and is probably going to die from it putting an immense amount of pressure on their brain.
• Ales Hemsky needs Torres to step it up big time. Hemmer can dance all he wants, but without both Torres and Sykora to be around to finish, he’s got nothing.
• After taking in the Oilers’ home opener, I’ve got to admit that I’m quite upset with the teams new entrance. I mean, U2?! I personally don’t want my team associated with Bono in any way. Hockey is a war of attrition. We don’t need some liberal, activist, Irish terrorist announcing our team’s arrival.
• The ‘Canes are 0-2-1. LOL!
• All our major acquisitions [Tjarnqvist, Sykora, and Lupul] have tallied.
• I said it all last year and I still stand by it now, Dion Phaneuf is an overrated coward.
• 28 November 2006. C-Prongs homecoming. I’ve got my tickets. And I’m calling it right now: the chant will clearly be “Fuck you, Pronger.” That’s got class through and through.
• As Ty mentioned, sandwiches are a big part of our lives. Therefore, I’m commissioning suggestions for an Official Sandwich of the Edmonton Oilers. It doesn’t even need to be Oiler related in any capacity. The only prerequisite is deliciousness.

Hello, blogosphere.

2006-10-08T00:21:00.000-07:00

As Ryan so eloquently explained, when it comes to the Oilers, we're always right and you're probably always wrong. Unless you agree with us, in which case, you'd be right.

My name is Ty. I'm also a fourth year political science student at the University of Alberta. I also hold Oilers season tickets and attend most home games. I'm a huge hockey fan. I discovered during the lockout that I don't just love hockey -- I'm in love with hockey. Fernando Pisani is my favorite Oiler. I despise the Calgary Flames. I think the Eastern Conference is a myth. I enjoy long walks on the beach. And sandwiches. I really enjoy sandwiches (take note, Hot Oil).

In the coming days, weeks and months, Ryan and I will provide you, the people, with the best spin-free Oilers coverage that the internets has to offer. Until next time. Stay strong, Oilers fans.

welcome

2006-10-07T22:33:00.000-07:00

Welcome to the newest, and clearly the greatest, addition to the Edmonton Oilers blogosphere.
Here my colleague Ty and I toil away to bring you only the best in Oilers and NHL commentary. We cut through the BS, not like those liberal die-hards on other sites. We know that the Mighty Oil get an unjust bad wrap the world over. We know that the Calgary Flames are heartless bastards. We know that Chris Pronger is black-listed. How? Let's just say we have connections with the CIA.
So bookmark our high-tech, automagically updating RSStron news feed to stay on top of the latest legitimate Oil news.

As for myself, my name's Ryan. I'm a fourth year political science student at the University of Alberta and an A&E writer for our student newspaper, the Gateway.
I have Oilers season tickets because I'm a member of the Edmonton aristocracy and can often be found shouting at Matt Greene during games while drinking my $7.50 beer because capitalism tastes so damn good.